“you’re perfect. i love everything about you. never change. your personality.. everything. don’t ever change it. your are perfect and wonderful and beautiful and i love you so much babygirl”
this is part of what my boyfriend sent me last night. out of no where.
i love hearing things like this. expect the fact that i don’t believe it.
like, what person are you looking at? i’m perfect? me?? i’m farrrrr from it.
i think i’m pretty. and i have great　 hair. and thats about it.
i hate my eyes, theyre shit brown. i hate my body, well.. its fat. you always tell me i’m not fat and i’m perfect and to not change. what fucking body are you looking at??
its nice to know that he thinks of me this way because that boosts my confidence level even though i have suh a high self esteem. its just my body that i despise. and everytime i start to do something about it, i fucking get fucking lazy and just. ugh. fuck. i neeeeeed to start eating healthier again. justtt going to the gym isn’t going to solve everything if i’m not fucking eating right.
i’m going to Jamaica in december. by then i want to be able to wear a fucking pair of cute shorts and not hate the way i look. when its nice out and warm and summer i still wear jeans. or i wear like capris or bermuda shorts and shit because i know i don’t look good in shorts and i want to be skinny(er) before i wear shorts.
ugh i just wish i could wave a magic wand or snap my fingers and i could have the body i have in my head. ugh. i suck.

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